Time to face the facts!

I have been putting this post off for a long time. I haven't wanted to/known how to do it. But here I am.

I was fired from my job in early February. It was completely unfair and I was definitely bullied after the fact too. I don't want to focus too much on that though. I am now on unemployment and selling the jewelry I make at a bar in ME. I am trying not to stress about anything and just let things happen how they are supposed to. I thought I would explain what stress has done in the past to me and what it is doing to me know.

Stress has been the hardest part of my life. It is what caused the eating disorder to get worse. The more stressed I got, the less I ate. It continued like that for years until I decided to let myself slip fully into an eating disorder and let that control my life. It still controls my eating habits. It doesn't affect me as much as what it used to be, but there are definitely days when I think about how I could easily slip back to where I was and how I felt then. Luckily in the 3 years since I left treatment I have very rarely skipped more than one meal in a row. Getting fired definitely brought me the closest to the struggles with stress that I previously fought with. I ate very little in the first few days, then I ate what made me feel the best emotionally, but made me feel pretty bad physically. Now I am back on track, for the most part. I still need to be much more careful with the different sensitivities that I have or I have new ones that are affecting me too. I have been snacking constantly and I need to fix that.

So here are my 5 goals for the next few weeks:

1) only eat what I should be eating
2) incorporate a smoothie into my diet: boosting my fruit/veggie intake and hopefully making myself feel better
3) get wheat grass and take a shot every morning
4) take advantage of the 2 week free trial at the gym that I can walk to and use the gym at least 8 times in those 2 weeks. Hopefully the gym isn't too expensive and I can continue using it after 2 weeks.
5) eat 3 balanced meals a day, but only eat when I am hungry. No constant snacking.

It is time for me to take more responsibility about what I do to my body instead of allowing myself to feel like crap daily. I am hoping that boosting fruits/veggies and going to the gym will help me feel better.

Anybody else have goals that they want to work on this week?